Free to Breathe Page 5

  I figured her attire was a uniform, but it wasn’t the same as all the other airline staff on the plane. Greg gave me a gentle half smile, his eyes softening as I stepped out onto the mobile gangway, and I thought it was a smile of relief that his duties toward me were over.

  Standing on the runway, I watched the somber men load Shona’s casket again, before being taken to my hotel for the night. As stared out of the window I felt numb and thought how Shona would have loved the adventure of seeing another country.

  By the age of eighteen she'd become an unruly teenager with her head in the clouds and a major fantasy crush on Noah and his band called Fr8Load. With his brooding good looks and an eye for the ladies, I could see the attraction, but Shona was obsessed… besotted with the guy.

  Occasionally she had even disappeared from home and traipsed around the neighboring states, following his band with hope of meeting him. Her thoughts were delusional where he was concerned, and she had really convinced herself if he ever met her he’d fall in love with her.

  Shona was intellectually smart, but dumb as fuck when it came to accepting responsibility for anything. Whenever it suited her she became an airhead, and any time I had tried to have a serious conversation with her she behaved like a petulant teenager and left me with no option but to become parental in my approach.

  At eight years my junior, she was the late baby my parents never expected to have after a difficult birth with me, and as young as I’d been back then I had shared some of the responsibility for taking care of her. Our dad was already drowning his sorrows by the time she was walking and died an alcoholic after his company went bust when Shona was almost sixteen. As for our mom, she barely lasted a year after Dad died, due to a sudden deterioration of her chronic ill health. I guess she gave up.

  Neither of my parents showed much interest in my younger sister, mainly because she had always displayed an awkward defiance toward them, but I reckoned Shona deserved better and continually tried to keep her on the right side of the tracks. I figured one day her maturity would catch up with her imagination and she’d settle down.

  Despite her rebellion, I’d done an okay job with Shona and I thought I was finally getting through to her. Her high school grades were good and she finally settled on going to college to Major in Marketing and Advertising when she dropped the bombshell that she was pregnant. She adamantly refused to say who the father was, but was very determined to keep the baby.

  Personally, I was devastated because I knew from the moment she told me, my life plan was instantly arrested. I could never have been selfish and washed my hands of her. It wasn’t in my genes, so when she had the baby three weeks after her nineteenth birthday I knew my life had a new focus because Shona would never have coped alone.

  Instead of using the savings I’d been squirreling away for a deposit on a better place, they were used to buy baby equipment and maternity clothing. Shona’s wild behavior had caught up with her but I never expected to bear the brunt of it.

  Woody, my then on-off boyfriend of four years, wasn’t at all sympathetic to the situation that developed, and I guess he lost patience and grew tired of my constant excuses for not being able to commit to him. Then as soon as he found out Shona and the baby would be staying at home he called time on us for good.

  Shortly afterward, he moved away from our town and never looked back. For a very long time, I was heartbroken, and it took me years to recover even after I’d decided if the focus was on himself instead of a destitute girl with a small baby then I was better off without him.

  During the short journey to the hotel I began to recall all the dark experiences that had come my way in quick succession and wondered if they had been preparation for something like what I had found myself facing. If it was… it hadn’t worked. Nothing could have prepared me for when Shona died. I was still brooding over that thought when the car pulled up at the sidewalk beside the hotel entrance.

  My emotionally spent body was exhausted by the time I arrived at the hotel room door. It was all I could do to step into the shower quickly before I crawled onto the bed, still wet and with only a towel wrapped around me. I remember nothing after that until I woke in the darkness, feeling nauseous. I hadn’t eaten much in the previous few days. With little to no appetite I had to force myself to eat and that day was no different.

  Digging deep, I found the energy and made my way down to the lobby, opting to order a warm chicken sandwich and have a few cups of coffee there instead of dinner. After eating I felt slightly better.

  Realizing it was almost 8:00 am on the eastern seaboard, I took my laptop out of my oversized purse and Skype called briefly with Molly and Mrs. Richie. It was good to see them, and Molly was delighted to hear from me.

  Once I reassured her I’d be home the next day, I closed the call out and I looked up in time to see an elevator door open and Noah step out directly in front of me. The mere sight of the man made me upset, so I stuffed my belongings into my purse and headed for the elevators. It had been difficult enough when I saw him on the plane. I couldn’t do anything about that, but I knew I’d be damned if I shared the same air on a voluntary basis.

  Chapter Six

  Noah

  During the short transfer to the hotel my mind went back to the woman who’d caught my attention for most of the flight and I wondered why she had been the first passenger to be allowed off the plane. I was a little surprised when the pilot asked us to remain seated for a few minutes and she was invited to leave by the cabin crew.

  When she rose from her seat and gathered up her belongings, she looked directly at me and saw that I was watching her. I gave her a warm smile when we made eye contact and hoped for the same in return; however, she appeared to look right through me and wore a look of disdain on her face.

  I recognized that look. I’d seen it plenty of times before and her snotty attitude pissed me off. I wondered whether she treated most people like that, or, if she knew who I was, she’d judged me on the reputation the media had formed of me. It was a pity because I found her highly attractive, but her arrogance stank.

  It irked me because I felt she had somehow prejudged me and deduced I wasn’t worth knowing simply because I sang in a band for a living, and frankly, her austere manner left me with a sour taste in my mouth.

  Luckily, I didn’t have time to dwell on it because I was second in line to disembark. I hated layovers, but I hated non-stop long haul more and was thankful for the quick transfer to the hotel in Dubai.

  Less than an hour from leaving the aircraft I stood in the shower, thankful to have made it there in one piece. After I washed and felt a little better, I noticed the wet bar menu and scanned the room looking for the small cabinet that held it inside.

  A slight tremor shook my hand as I swung open the door and found an assortment of sodas and ice teas. I sighed with both relief and a tinge of disappointment because true to form, Annalise had ensured all forbidden temptation had been removed from it. It wasn’t her responsibility to keep alcohol out of my clutches; she was following orders from my manager to help keep me dry.

  I pulled out a root beer and slammed the door shut, pulled the tab on the ring pull and slugged it down like it was all I really needed. Taking my drink with me I climbed onto the bed and lay naked under the colonial fan with my legs spread wide and my arms above my head. It wasn’t long before the journey took its toll and I fell asleep.

  Night had fallen by the time I woke and although I felt groggy, the pangs of hunger dragged me to my feet. I grabbed a fresh pair of jeans and pulled on a plain white t-shirt before texting Eamon to let him know I was on the move. I then sent another to George, one of my band mates, and Annalise, to meet me for dinner.

  When I exited the elevator on the ground floor, I was stunned to see the same woman from the aircraft sitting directly in front of me when the doors opened. She glanced up and as she did I swear she winced in disapproval at my appearance before she went back to whatever she was doing on her lap
top.

  By then I was convinced she was stuck up and well connected. She’d been the first to leave the plane which was an obvious tell of her status. Usually, it was me who did that; the cabin crew normally gave me a head start on the passengers to ensure I arrived safely through immigration with the least amount of commotion to the other passengers. Again, I stared at her and considered what it was about her that I didn't know but all the airline staff did.

  For a few seconds I considered ignoring her and heading straight to dinner, but I knew it would have bugged me if I never took the chance to change her mind about me. So, I decided to burst her bubble and show her what a gentleman I could be instead.

  With time to kill and a challenge to keep me occupied, I figured no matter how I did it; I was determined to show her the kind of guy I really was and to change her bias view of me.

  “Excuse me, I couldn’t help noticing you were alone on the flight. As we have some time to kill I wondered if you’d mind some company… if you’re not expecting anyone of course?”

  When she glanced up at me her face was contorted with an angry expression. She looked horrified and dismayed to see me standing in front of her.

  “I do mind. I have nothing to say to you,” she snapped and pulled all her shit together without looking up.

  It had been years since I’d faced rejection by any woman in conversation and I figured I at least deserved an explanation for the hostility she appeared to harbor toward me.

  “Have we met before? I’m sure if we had I would have remembered such a beautiful looking woman,” I asked trying again to be civil.

  “Are you fucking serious? Leave me alone,” she demanded, and became more visibly distressed as she sprang to her feet and hurriedly shoved her E-reader and cardigan into an oversized purse.

  “Wait—”

  “Stay away from me,” she shrieked loudly as she hurriedly moved past me.

  Without thinking I reached out and grabbed her forearm, “Hold on a minute, there’s no need—”

  Swiftly, she tugged her arm free, gave me a terrified look, and rushed toward the elevator. I stood stunned and watched as she rapidly pressed at the call button like she was desperate to get away from me. Glancing around, I saw Eamon walking toward me, his head turned and watching her, then I glanced around the hotel lobby. I cringed when I saw her reaction had attracted attention.

  I ran my hands through my hair and turned back to look at the elevators and I was surprised when I saw her exchange words with Annalise who was in the elevator. I was even more stunned when Annalise appeared to know her. My confusion was increased when the woman appeared to reach out and slumped distressed into my assistant’s arms as the doors closed.

  What in Hell’s name is going on? I sank down into the seat vacated by the woman and waved the waiter for a drinks service. “Soda and lime,” Eamon piped up as the waiter attempted to take my order. “You didn’t wait for me before you left your room,” he offered, stating the obvious when he’d gone there to find me. I ignored him and sat still watching the bank of elevators and waited for Annalise to come back.

  “What the fuck was that about?” he asked.

  Shaking my head, I shrugged and continued to watch the doors of the elevators until Annalise came back down to the lobby. My drink arrived seconds before the elevator carrying her did and she walked toward me with a deep frown creasing her brow.

  “Care to tell me what the fuck that was about?” I snapped in an aggressive tone. Annalise wrung her hands and her expression told me I wouldn’t like what she said.

  “Please don’t be mad with me. I had every intention of telling you, but Steve said it had to wait until we got home.”

  “Tell me what? What the fuck am I missing? I’ve never seen that woman before in my life. Whatever she’s accusing me of, she’s a liar.”

  “Calm down. She isn’t accusing you of anything, Noah, and I’m sure she’ll view you differently in a couple of months.”

  “View me differently? She doesn’t even know me. What the fuck is she judging me for? I’m telling you I’ve never even met her before.”

  Annalise wrung her hands again like she always did when she was about to tell me something she knew would upset me.

  “Her name is Maggie. Her sister worked as a styling assistant until recently.”

  “So, she got fired?”

  “She died. Choked on her own vomit.”

  The air I had in my lungs, instantly wasn’t enough. I inhaled sharply as the shock of the news stopped me short of breath.

  “She did what? She was one of my crew and she… died? Died as in dead? What the fuck? And nobody thought I should know about this?” I rose from the chair and tried to keep my voice down. “When did this happen?”

  “It happened a few days ago—and of course I thought you should know. I argued that you had to be told, but Steve insisted it was a bad idea with the flight home n’all, and ordered me to wait until you were back in the USA. He knows how you feel about flying and—”

  “And because Steve knows better, you did what he told you instead of what was right? Damn, Annalise, I thought you could handle my needs. Maybe you should go work for Steve instead of me. I needed to know about this… not find out about it this way.” I glanced at Eamon, “You knew as well? Maybe I need a new team that will have my back,” I bit in an angry outburst.

  My temper rose at everyone knowing but me, and I banged my fist hard on the coffee table. It rattled my glass on the table and attracted more attention from those close by. “Very clever of you both. What was her sister’s name?” I asked feeling totally inadequate because I knew nothing about her.

  “Shona Dashwood.”

  “I didn’t meet her, did I?” I asked and felt disgusted I hadn’t.

  “She only joined the crew a couple of weeks ago.”

  “What’s the sister’s name again?”

  “Maggie Dashwood… there’s something else, Noah. She arrived here yesterday to formally identify and accompany Shona’s body home.”

  A jolt of electricity shocked my heart. “And we’re all on the same fucking flight? No wonder she can’t stand the sight of me. I can’t believe you thought our paths wouldn’t cross. What the fuck were you thinking?”

  “I didn’t have time to think. I didn’t know Shona’s body would be released so quickly and Steve had warned me not to tell you—” Annalise tried to argue in her defense, but I was too furious to let her finish.

  “Now, I bet this Maggie woman thinks I couldn’t give a shit about anyone on my crew.”

  “I’ll explain.”

  “Explain? I think you’ve done enough harm. I don’t care how you do it, but I want a meeting with her. Make it happen or leave. I want to speak to her. And I want as much detail about Shona as we’ve got. I take it there’s a file?”

  “There’s not much to tell. She joined the crew around two weeks ago. She was in her mid-twenties, good looking, well liked, and a fun member of the crew. I had very little contact with her myself. She was vetted by some agency.”

  “What were the circumstances around her death?”

  “She had been drinking with another crew member, got drunk, fell unconscious, and choked as far as we know. The guy she was with is no longer with us because we found he’d been using class A drugs.”

  I stood up and shook my head in disbelief, distressed by the news. I ran my hands through my hair. Eamon stood at the same time, like he thought I was going somewhere.

  “Right. This is what you’re going to do. You’re going to go to her and come clean. You need to tell her I knew nothing about any of this. I can never make this right for her, but I can do my best to cover whatever she needs.”

  “We’ve already been doing this.”

  “Fuck. I can’t believe this. I’m having a hard time that everyone kept this from me. Don’t you get this? This is a huge fucking catastrophe, and I had no idea.” I reflected on the incident with the fan on the plane and in a heartbeat I
felt like shit. No wonder she stared at me like I was the shit on her shoe. She must have thought I was an insensitive asshole. “We were in the same cabin on the flight, for Christ’s sake.”

  I was at a loss for how to make amends. I never thought I could. I continued to digest the tragic news and ran my hands through my hair again. “Go. I’m not doing anything else until I’ve spoken to her.”

  Annalise looked worried, like the task I’d set her was impossible. “Maybe we should wait—”

  “I’d go to her myself if I didn’t think it would upset her further. Get me a meeting if you want to keep your job.” Without waiting for her to respond, I strode toward the elevator and headed back to my room with Eamon close behind.

  Almost two hours later, my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw it was Annalise.

  “Speak to me.” I said, in an irritated tone.

  “Maggie has agreed to meet with you, but not in her hotel room or your suite. I’ve booked another—eleven forty one. It’s on the floor above the conference suites and is reserved solely for conference attendees. She’s making her way over there if you want to meet me there. Don’t worry it’s very private. There hasn’t been a conference today, so the floor is completely empty.”

  Relief flooded through me, followed swiftly by apprehension. I was glad for the opportunity to set the record straight, but I also wanted to offer my support personally for what she must have been going through.

  My only problem was I wondered how I could convey my condolences and support the family of the girl I never knew. I felt a huge sense of responsibility toward Maggie and her family and I hoped she understood my concern was genuine. I was pulled out of my thoughts when Eamon knocked on the door and I realized Annalise must have alerted him that the meeting was about to take place.

  I saw my assistant leaning against the wall further down the corridor when we stepped out of the elevator. She quickly pushed herself off the wall and stood straight when she saw us come into view. Handing Eamon the key card, he opened the door.